Today’s timeline gave us one genuine roast, one middleweight trying not to crash into a house, and a heavyweight who sounds like he wrote his caption on a meditation retreat. Here’s who said what, ranked by how loud the internet got.
Marina Shafir
The runaway winner of the day, with close to 4,000 engagements. Jay White (@JayWhiteNZ) posted a single dagger emoji, and Shafir (@MarinaShafir) answered with a full demolition: “Do you know what’s hilarious? A grown ass man, who points finger guns with imaginary bullets, is telling me to ‘soften up’.” She kept going, asking whether his “’switchblade’ feeling more like a plastic pocket knife” and closing with “I thought the final outfit included big boy pants, but i guess they didn’t make the cut 🤭”. That’s how you handle a one-emoji subtweet. He brought a knife emoji, she brought a whole wardrobe critique, and the giggle emoji at the end is the cherry on top.
Gaston Reyno
Reyno (@gastonreyno) posted a clip with the caption “Uno de los Boxeadores más técnicos dentro de la UFC 🥊”, which translates to calling someone one of the most technical boxers inside the UFC. The post itself doesn’t name the fighter, so you’ll have to click the link and judge the hands yourself. Still, crowning somebody the most technical boxer in the UFC with zero names attached is a spicy move, and it’s a guaranteed way to start a comment section fight.
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Sean Strickland
The former middleweight champ is apparently learning to fly, and the early returns are humbling. “Well 5 hours done... 35 to go, those landings are a little tough...” Strickland (@SStricklandMMA) wrote on X, adding that he was dealing with “Information overload well trying not to hit the house Infront of the run way..” So he’s five hours into what sounds like a 40-hour stretch, and the landings are giving him trouble. I have never wanted a cockpit GoPro more in my life. A guy who has spent his whole career walking straight forward is now being asked to finesse a plane onto a strip of pavement, and there’s a house in the way. Top Gun this is not, yet.
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Sergei Pavlovich
“Calm on the outside. Ready on the inside 💪🏻” Pavlovich (@SPavlovich13) posted with a video. That’s the whole post. When one of the scariest punchers at heavyweight goes into zen mode, everybody else in the division should probably check the locks on their doors.
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Gary Goodridge
The PRIDE legend says he’s still fighting a battle over his own X account. “Love and respect Still get a penis still messing around with my X account. Hard to get him out. Not able to post what I want to post…” Goodridge (@garyhgoodridge) wrote. The message is clear enough, somebody is meddling with his account and he can’t post freely. The wording, though, is going to live rent-free in my head all week. Big Daddy, we’re rooting for you to win this one.
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Arnold Allen
Here’s your Volkanovski moment. Allen (@Arnoldbfa) quoted a @HappyPunch post that shared Volk’s fight-day line while dealing with a chest infection: “I’m sick, but the fight would be too easy if I felt too good anyway.” Allen’s response: “Not too many geezers like Volk, probably wouldn’t of seen this if he had lost, fairrrrr play”. His point is a sharp one. That quote only reads as legendary because Volk backed it up. If he loses, it’s an excuse in advance. Since he won, it’s the coldest thing a featherweight has said all year, and Allen stretching out that extra-long fair play is a fellow 145er tipping his cap.
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Ben Askren
Funky (@Benaskren) went full wrestling commissioner on X: “There should be very little tolerance for intentionally trying to harm someone’s vision. UWW/USAW should be looking at suspension options!” He didn’t name the incident or the wrestler in the post, but he wants United World Wrestling and USA Wrestling to act. When the Olympic wrestler who built a career on grinding people into the mat says someone crossed the line, the governing bodies should at least take the call.
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